• jaysantiagomusic

“Fall in love with me first and I will do the rest”

My name is Leslie Reynoso I am 21 years old from Texas, I will be 22 in July, I was born and raised in Texas. I grew up with not really much of a religious background. I can honestly count the times I remember going to church as a child with both of my hands. I grew up “ catholic” as it is for many Hispanics, You usually say you are what your parents are. My journey to christ has been painful but worth it. I don’t want to pretend like It was perfect and easy because it’s beyond that. I remember being attracted to boys as a little girl, I grew up in a loving home with both of my parents, however, I had a better relationship with my dad, not because my mom was harsh or mean or anything she was always available but I just always wanted to be with my dad, so I grew up doing things society would call “ boy things” so with that I grew up hearing “ why don’t you act like other girls, “ why do you like boy things “ along with being sexually abused at the age of 5. It wasn’t until I grew older that I realized that I never felt comfortable as a woman because of the things that happened to me, I never came out to my family because I was afraid, only to two of my friends and I was comfortable with that, I knew that some of my family members and people that knew me had an idea but I did my own thing and just kept my dating life to myself. I grew up that way and I knew about the God that condemned what I did but I never felt fear, I always went by well if he made me this way it must not be wrong that went on from 2012-2019. I did not know Jesus nor did I ever go after knowing him, If I was asked at the time who Jesus was to me my answers would probably be “they say “ he is this and that but it wouldn’t be a he is, so I knew what they said about him but I didn’t know who he was to me. My parents got divorced in 2014 and My Dad remarried, His Wife was a Christian and started taking my dad and my siblings to church, And eventually they dragged me along. I remember one of the first times I went A prophet told me God had a calling on my life and told me some very personal things, Like most people who do not know the Lord I just thought my family had told him something about me and I ignored it. In 2017 I started working in the car business as a salesperson and that’s when my life went downhill, I then realized I was addicted to pornography and I was in relationships with men just for the things I would do with them which were all out of lust, And I talked to woman for the emotional connection. I remember I would go home after 12-hour workdays and I would just lay In my bed most times with tears in my eyes wondering if there was more to life than what I was living. I started a new job almost a year after at a new dealership and I had to share a desk with a coworker until there was an open one for me, Ironically the person out of the dealership I had to share a desk with was a pastor. I remember sitting there thinking like gosh this guy has a bible and verses and I just kind of giggled and ignored it but id think like what a religious dude, He always spoke to me about Jesus, and I kind of just ignored it and kept on, One day I was outside after I had a bad day, No one knew but I was numbing the pain I felt with alcohol and weed. He asked me that day If I knew Jesus and shared his testimony, I remember I had tears in my eyes and he prayed for me outside in front of some of the salespeople. He invited me to church and I went and I remember the first time I met my pastor he looked me in my eyes and told me that I was going to have another Job for some reasons I will not say the name of that place but I just got excited because this Is a place that I had been wanting to work at so as soon as I left service I applied and I didn’t get the Job so Immediately I got upset and said he just lied and I just basically talked bad but a year later I get a call and they ask If I was still interested in the Job keep in mind I applied a year before So I take the job and start I spend a month in training until I actually started working at my desk but the second week there I was doing my work and I have a panic attract ( I learned it was that after it happened). It felt like I was dying and I remember I heard a voice in my head (not audible) just a loud thought that asked me “ If you were to die today where would you go ) Immediately I thought Hell and just everything I had done came to my mind. I was not searching for Jesus nor did I ever pursue knowing him besides the time I went to church but I was never serious. After that, I immediately felt the urge to read the bible and go to church, So I did and I always kept the same-sex attractions and relationships while I went but I started feeling convicted, I remember trying to justify what I was doing, I asked God to show me if it was wrong and he did and Id ignore it, I did not want to surrender that part of my life because I was afraid of being alone but Jesus spoke to me time and time again and was patient with me, He told me I’d never be alone that’s one of his promises, He showed me what’s ahead and how much better it is than what I desired. I remember the day after I asked God to show me what he wanted my pastor said “ the Lord wants me to tell you that you will have a husband “ My pastor did not know about my situation and I remember God confirmed it in a dream, He has walked with me through this whole thing and it has been hard but I would do it over again just to feel Gods Love for the first time again, I no longer desire a relationship with a woman, My only desire is to know him more. I am doing what he asked me to do he said “ Fall in love with me first and I will do the rest”.

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